15 minutes.

In 15 minutes, anything can happen. It takes 15 minutes to play a halftime in basketball. It takes 15 minutes to turn dry pasta into a meal. It takes 15 minutes to tell someone they are loved. You could be alive one minute, and then dead after 15 minutes. Everything happens so fast. There’s no time to stop. Time is never on our side.


It’s 9am, and it’s the start of the business day. Everything has to be in place at Goldberg Capital before the boss walks in. As soon as everyone hears the door clink open, the action commences. Navy blue chairs whiz into their places, Bloomberg pops up on desktops, and keyboards franticly clatter in no particular order. The suits all perk up with a “Good Morning, Steve” when he passes by each of their desks. They’re all Yale, Harvard, and Stanford graduates but they can never figure out Steve. Steve isn’t like all the others. He’s a graduate from the Community College of Rhode Island with a major in Architecture. He just happens to be extraordinarily good at predicting stock surges and falls. Good enough to own an apartment on Fifth Avenue and trade in the company jet for a private jet. That’s the reason the pack of ties and blazers all bow down to him in awe. Now, the pack is all in full force. Brewing cups out of the Keurig and munching on protein bars. Welcome to Wall Street.


A day at work has finally actually begun. We’re seeing some progress here. The MD, the Managing Director or the Managing Dimwit as the employees calls him, pulls the office into his room for a team meeting. The team meeting is supposed to be an energizing 3 minutes of scheduling. It ends up being the MD showing the whole office half-naked pictures of his wife. Today, she’s wearing a skimpy red number. All the other animals cheer in response. They howl and holler at the little blonde gold digger at all of her angles. When the MD is finally done showing off pictures of his wife to the team, Steve waltzes in. He goes on his usual rant on how the fund isn’t investing enough money and how they need to penetrate the global market. Once everyone is done pretending to pay attention and applauding, they are all dismissed.


Once seated, the suits resume clicking and clacking away. They all have one job for today- to make money. They leave that job to Steve. They choose to focus on surviving the 12 hour workday in exchange for hefty pay checks. In the other room, Steve and the intern are having their own pointless conversation. The intern messed up his coffee order. Again. How hard can it be to get a Venti no-foam no-cream no-sugar cappuccino right? Well, hard enough for the Columbia student. Steve considers firing him. Again. Then, he decides against it because he couldn’t just let go of Bill Gates’ son. Again. He has relationships to maintain, and so he has to deal with interns that just can’t get it right. He apologises to the intern, and tells him to tell his dad that he sends his regards.


The usual office drama is due to take place. First up, we have Steve who accuses the MD of sleeping with his wife. No shocker there. They’ve been at it for weeks. The MD denies, denies, and denies this charge. Steve won’t let it go. Today, he wants it to be the day the MD admits to it. He won’t. He’s not risking being banned from every job on the market for a little snapshot of honesty. But, alas, Steve won’t know the truth as his time is cut short by the man who passed out in the bathroom. Which one was this guy taking? Was it cocaine, meth, or the two mixed together? He’s foaming out of his mouth but his eyes are open. No idea what that could be. As the office assistant wheels him out, Steve fires her for inappropriately touching this guy. No surprise there. There’s a new assistant every week.


After all the regular chaos, clients start coming into the office. They file into the waiting room, and they are asked to wait. Why wait, you ask? What is it exactly that all the suits are doing? The answer is- nothing at all. They just want the clients to think they’re busy. Today, the office is busier than usual. The back-up assistant offers all of the clients a glass of sparkling lime water or a portion of Chardonnay. All the clients are thoroughly impressed. They have no idea that the lemon water has been in the fridge for months, and that the Chardonnay is just the cheapest wine from the corner store. Despite having all the money in the world, Steve’s as frugal as you get. Post the short wait, clients finally get to meet the Goldberg crew.


It’s game time. The police are finally here. Let’s see if what happens on Wall Street really does stay on Wall Street.

At 9:15am on Wednesday March 23rd, the Goldberg Capital office on Wall Street was searched by the FBI. Hundreds of police officers filled the crime scene where owner Steve Goldberg had been allegedly funnelling millions of dollars to cartel members in Colombia. He had been using funds from investments to earn profits from the narcotrafficking realm. Officers found evidence of drug usage and forged paperwork in the office. Goldberg has been detained along with his 30 employees as he awaits trial.

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